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the result of much rumination

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Diaspora

As Christmas looms closer, and I find myself busy with music rehearsals and other things, it’s natural to start thinking about family. This is the 9th Christmas since my parents separation and eventual divorce. After my parents parted ways, the family that I knew for 19 years of my life was suddenly gone. We find ourselves today, a family of 5 in four different states. There’s something about this time of the year that causes me, and countless others, to reflect on the state of their families. This is the time that families, even if they’ve been flung to the far corners of the earth, start to migrate back to one another, if not for a couple of days. The time spent together is probably, loud, joyous, awkward, painful, and every emotion in between. For myself, Christmas has been devoid of a lot of these emotions these past several years, there’s only so much time you can actually spend on the phone trying to drum up some semblance of togetherness before you just hang up with an unfulfilling and hollow “Merry Christmas.” Divorce has shattered and scattered the family I once knew, which for most of the year usually goes unnoticed, until you get to the “holidays” and I realize that I haven’t had a Christmas tree in my house for 10 years, or egg nog in my fridge (we actually never drank egg nog when I was younger) I know that i’m not alone, I’m sure there are many other 20 somethings going through something very similar. Divorce is an ugly thing, my parents don’t speak to each other, let alone get in the same room together. So my Christmas days have been spent on the phone, which, if you know me, you know how hard that is.

So where’s the hope in all of this? For me, it’s diving into the beautiful story of the incarnation, knowing that the world was changed, because God chose to put on flesh and dwell amongst us in a family. It’s getting to watch my little brother build a family of his own and start new traditions with his wife and future daughter. It’s being grateful that my parents are still here, that my dad survived cancer. My “Merry Christmas” will mean a lot more to me and him this year. It’s spending time with my generous friends, who make sure that an “orphan” like myself has a place to go for Christmas. And despite our distance from one another, we’re still family, nothing can change that. We love each other the best way we can…. Merry Christmas 

My first Christmas tree in almost 10 years. 

Thanks Rachel and Clare for the hipster tree